Hi all, Littlefoot here:
I’m writing to tell you about the worst weeks of my life. The time my Mom decided to adopt Kevin, a “friend” for me.
So when I was a kitten and Mom brought me home, she already had a cat named Sneakers. Now the ideal was that I would be best friends with sneakers and we would do great things together; you know cuddle, lick butts, chase each other, hiss at each other jokingly, etc.
Sadly sneakers hated me, he was pretty old and just didn’t have room in his world for such a cute cat like me. We did have some good times though, like that one time we caught that moth. Damn that was good.
Anyways.. growing up I did have some cat friends! There was Wallace and Zammie (PROOF BELOW). I used to have so much fun with my cat friends; licking, staring, chasing, and sometimes hissing.
Mom knew that I did well with other cats and would be happy with a cat bro/sista.
Mom had been talking about getting another cat for a while, and I already had the perfect cat in mind.
I wanted Lil’ Bub in my life.
I hinted to Mom that we should really adopt Lil’ Bub because I like his style a lot. I mean we have a lot in common.. for instance,
- He makes noises while eating
- I make noises while eating, sitting, and sleeping
- He loves yogurt
- I LOVE YOGURT
- He has to take baths and sort of puts up with it
- I take baths and meow the WHOLE time through
Obviously we were meant to be best friends.
So anyways one day Mom sees this older cat at the cat rescue that “looks just like Littlefoot!” Honestly I don’t see it but whatever.
SO anyways Mom was telling me that the cat had been at the shelter for a while and she thought we would be best friends. Also he didn’t have teeth, and Mom was like “no big deal, cats don’t need teeth.” Wtf Mom? I’m very happy to keep my teeth.
When Kevin came home I immediately knew something was wrong with this cat, I mean he was shady as hell.
He would hide under things and I would hiss at him, he would hide in the bathroom while I hissed at him and I even hissed at him while he was eating or if he EVER looked at me. I MEAN WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?
WHY would you ever look at me? I just freaking met you Kevin, you don’t like my life or my struggles. So I told him “Don’t you dare look at me again.” Then I threw up 7 times (1 time on the bed) to make sure Kevin and Mom knew that he wasn’t allowed to look at me or be near me really.
Grumpy Cat – you’re my patronus
So Mom tried all these Jackson Galaxy “How to introduce cats,” and just make cats more comfortable ideas that Jackson has. BTW Jackson go ahead and give me a call soon so we can talk about that because Kevin did not respect my space and I have some tips for you. Thanks Jackson. #NORESPECT
Mom tried really hard to introduce us slowly and give us our own space. She thought that we were making real progress, see below to see me looking at Kevin and us rolling over on our stomachs together. YAY
Mom started to get worried after about a week of me throwing up 2ish times a day, not really eating, and doing my meow call of the wild from 2-5:30 every morning. I really needed her to know that I thought Kevin was an A-hole and he wasn’t welcome in this house.
Seriously, what kind of cat won’t come out from under the bed for a week just because every time he tried I hissed and attacked the shit out of him? What a pansy.
So after a couple of weeks Mom talked to my Vet and the Cat shelter and they decided “the best thing for both animals was to bring Kevin back to the cat rescue and put him up for adoption again.”
This is when I finally knew that I had gotten my point across and after Kevin left I finally was able to stop throwing up/screaming and attacking everyone.
I really thought I was in the clear BUT then Mom decides..
“I really think Littlefoot would get along better with a Kitten”
And now I have the most dumb little brother there is.
….. Everyone thinks “HE’s so cute” but he doesn’t fool me.
I mean look at this, Mom was just trying to have a nice little brushypoo time and he thinks the brush is out to get him.
I do sort of like him though, he really pushed his way into my life without even caring if I wanted him there.
Here he is in 4 boxes..
Lets go ahead and just put him back where we found him.
Moral of this story is – If someone comes into your life and you don’t like them, DON’T STAND FOR IT. You throw up, fart, hiss, and make sure your Mom knows about it. Don’t settle in life, we only have 9 and they go by fast.
DISCLAIMER from Sierra: I would just like to say that this post from Littlefoot is satire. I take the adoption of animals very seriously and I would never adopt an animal without the ideal that I would have that animal their whole life. In this case Kevin and Littlefoot were not a good match, I did everything I could “by the book” and was so hopeful that they would be able to get along. I didn’t even consider giving Kevin back to the rescue until it was affecting the health of my 8 year old cat Littlefoot. Kevin was the sweetest cat ever and Littlefoot is a huge jerk sometimes and it wasn’t a healthy situation for either animals. Kevin was brought back to a very safe “NO KILL” shelter to be adopted out to a loving family. Littlefoot and Petrie are VERY happy and healthy kitties and are very loved. We love photos and stories of your own cats in the comments 🙂